The Edge
This September we have leaped into our fall routine. Gone are the lazy days of summer as we have busy mornings with school, pre-school and extracurricular activities. I miss the carefree days to a degree, but I think most of us thrive on consistency, structure and routine. I know my kids do.
Now that my daughter is one, the infant days are behind us as well and she is our curious, little toddler. As she grows, it is becoming evident she has an independent streak and wants to be a big kid like her brothers. My baby is no longer a baby.
With all this change, my heart is aching with the realization that this season will quickly come to an end. Before I had my third baby, I wasn’t quite sure when this season would be over, but as soon as I heard that heartbeat at out first ultrasound, there was a firm deadline when our last baby would start school. 2022. Yes, it is still three whole years away, but as a SAHM, I am aware of this massive change ahead. I will still be a mom of course, but all my kids will be in school and my days will look very different. My overall purpose remains, but my day-to-day will adjust as I pursue more postsecondary education and a new career. It kind of feels like I am peering over the edge of a cliff…
Don’t get me wrong, I am excited for the future! Excited to be around more adults, to go to school, to then start making money and have a career again…. etc, but truth be told I am scared too. Change is daunting but also rewarding.
To help prepare, I am reminding myself of these truths.
I AM STILL ME- JUST WITH KIDS NOW
Motherhood is a huge part of my life, but there is more to me. It in and of itself does not fulfill me. I need to get reacquainted with the “non-mom” parts of me.
EACH SEASON HAS ITS PROS AND CONS
The season I am in affords me to spend lots of time to spend with my kids. The next season will lessen that, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have quality time. Investing in my education and career will enrich our family in many ways, so thinking longterm and having a balanced perspective is important.
FEELING BOTH EXITED AND SCARED IS A THING.
Stepping out of comfort zone will be hard, but the growth and adventure that awaits is awesome! I am overwhelmed at the thought of how I will balance it all, but I look to my fierce career mama friends and you inspire me! I may pick your brain and get tips and hacks in the coming years! Maybe I won’t always be able to do it all- and that’s ok!
STARTING OVER DOESN’T MAKE ME A FAILURE
I am a little insecure starting school in my mid-to-late thirties and being at the bottom of the totem pole. I guess I am a little self-self-conciouos that professionally I have to little to show for (that said I am immensely grateful for previous educational and employment opportunities). I realize that is an unhealthy mindset. There is nothing wrong with my life trajectory. While my career path changed and has been momentarily sidelined by motherhood, I am so fortunate to live my dream at this time. There absolutely has been sacrifice, but overwhelmingly it has been a beautiful season I deeply cherish. I am proud and thankful for that!
