Make Childhood Simple Again

Having my three babies in the 2010’s, I’ve now been able to reflect on the parenting trends and pressures unique to my time. This decade is when the vast majority of my friends had their first babies if not all their babies. As an 80’s baby~90’s kid, my childhood was analogue, my coming of age coincided with the digital age and my 20’s are when social media and smartphones became mainstream. For the millennial girlies, Instagram and Pinterest had a chokehold on us. These apps both heavily rely on the aesthetic. Whereas my Gen-Z counterparts have said started to say goodbye to digital filters and post raw images, my generation still loves the Pinterest-perfection gold standard or should I say, grid standard? I have fallen into this trap. I think my rocky start to motherhood with multiple miscarriages made me particularly vulnerable. For a few years, my algorithm fed me these beautiful photos. painting a glamorous picture of motherhood. I was an outsider longingly looking in. For a time I felt robbed of membership to this club so when I finally had my rainbow baby, I was eager to join. I also love to express myself in artistic and creative ways so all the kindling was there to make me a “mamarazzi” as my family affectionately calls me. Collectively as a culture, we were also naive to what we now know is a digital footprint. I’ve wrestled with this as part of me wants to completely go dark online, yet with family and friends scattered all over the world, it’s a great way to share aspects of my life. For now, I’ve landed on a private account sharing snippets of my life. I don’t talk much about neurodivergent life anymore as it’s not my story to share and now mainly just share sweet little candid moments.

After taking time off social media for Lent coupled with hopping back on only in time to see all the overconsumption Easter basket influencer parents were sharing online, I really began to see this childrearing culture for what it is. These striving-for-perfection-Pinterest-picture-moments aren’t for the kids, but for us parents to look good in the eyes of our peers. Now, I don’t think sharing beautiful moments or celebrations is inherently wrong, but our motivations for pursing picturesque and posting is something to be mindful of. This internalized pressure for outside validation isn’t healthy for anyone. Our kids are going to remember if we were present with them versus all the presents we gift them. This Easter, I did have an Amazon cart with Easter presents, but I decided to dial it back. Instead, the kids had a few chocolate eggs and small Easter bunny. It was a fraction of last year’s goodies. My kids were so thrilled and thanked me for their baskets! This doesn’t mean I won’t spoil them for time to time, but was a reminder that childhood can be simple and it’s the little things that truly matter the most.