If...Then

A few nights ago my son Kyler was struggling to stay asleep so we invited him to come snuggle us in our bed. I don’t normally encourage this scenario as it’s important that my husband and I have time to ourselves. Boundaries are important, yet sometimes kids need extra love in those “off duty” hours. Truthfully I love these once-in-a-blue-moon nights when I get to nuzzle one of the boys.

As I stroked Kyler’s hair and kissed the top of his forehead, I lulled him back to sleep. In that moment, I was blissfully succumbing to sweet slumber myself with my baby boy wrapped in my arms. I had almost drifted back to sleep when I was disrupted by anxious thoughts. I could feel my muscles tense and heart begin to pace as I began to fret and play out possible negative scenarios in my head. My peace had been robbed and replaced with fear.

I was going down this rabbit hole for a few moments, when I rebuked those thoughts. I mentally said to myself, “IF “x” happens, THEN I will deal wth it.” I interrupted my thinking and was able to break that viscous cycle by reclaiming my thoughts. I recognized that at 12:37 am I couldn’t actually ‘fix’ anything so instead of stewing, I gave myself permission to mentally press pause and go to sleep.

I once read that 90% of what we worry about doesn’t happen- and even that 10% is generally much more manageable then we make it out to be in our heads. There are a few things coming up that I am nervous about, but I need to remember that worry isn’t productive. As Corrie Ten Boom said, '“Worry doesn’t empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength.”

As someone with GAD, I may have to be a little more intentional with my thinking than some, but I found this simple phrase really helpful that night. IF… THEN… [and until hypothetically then]- PRESS PAUSE.