Less Is More

#mrdylanarcher is getting to the age where I need to share less of him as he’s coming into his own. At 9 years old, he’s straddling childhood and adolescence. Gone are the days where he would run and throw his arms around my neck in reckless abandon for hugs and kisses. Now, he gives me strict orders for what is cool and uncool to say in public [I’m extremely “uncool” according to him]. This boy has a countdown to when he can get his driver’s license and has even discussed colleges with us. He’s growing up. However; at night he will ever so subtly tip his head towards me when I tuck him in hinting for a good night kiss. That brief glimpse of my boy wanting to be little for just a second means the world to me.

This freckle-kissed face has my heart and to prioritize our relationship I’ve had to rethink what I share. Instagram for me started as a way to keep in touch with friends and family. Going to school across the globe in Australia means my loved ones are scattered on every continent minus Antarctica. Social media allows for connections with people I can’t see in person anymore. I love following everyone’s lives in captions and snapshots, but I’m re-evaluating my approach to this space. Likewise with this blog, while my intention from the start was to create an online scrapbook for my kids to look back on; for now at least, it’s accessible to the public. I haven’t come to any hard conclusions, but will admit that after a tough journey to motherhood, I was overjoyed to share my rainbow babies and I had a naive view on the pitfalls of a digital presence that a kid cannot informatively consent too. Keep in mind I am not an influencer who monetizes content off the backs of my kids, my settings are set to private and I don’t promote this website. I think there’s context where sharing a photo can be fine, but caution is needed. At the very least, my eldest won’t be on here often but don’t mistake that for favouritism for my other kiddos. They love to smile for the camera whereas Dylan does not. I’m sure in time my other two kids will follow suit and I’ll share other facets of my life. Being a mother is the most important thing I’ll ever do, but it’s still just one part of me. I’m still me- just with kids now.

“Take chances, make mistake, get messy!”

— Ms. Frizzle [The Magic School Bus]

As a millennial, I had a hyrbid of an analogue and digital upbringing. I remember watching “The Magic School Bus” on VHS tape in class where Ms. Frizzle would say, “Take chances, make mistakes, get messy!” I want my kids to explore and discover who they are with the privacy, autonomy and dignity they deserve. It’s a balancing act, but my relationship with them trumps my relationship to an online audience and when it comes to sharing, less is more.